Meet the Psychology graduate helping the people of Newcastle find love this Valentine’s Day
Ben Mellor (BSc Psychology, 2016; MSc Clinical Psychology, 2020) is the founder of Newcastle-based dating agency NCL Dates, which has been holding speed dating and blind dating events in the North East since 2022.
29 January 2024
Ben Mellor (BSc Psychology, 2016; MSc Clinical Psychology, 2020) is the founder of Newcastle-based dating agency NCL Dates, which has been holding speed dating and blind dating events in the North East since 2022.
NCL Dates provides IRL opportunities for people aged 18-65 looking for love who are bored of dating apps and want to meet in person in cool venues across the city. Established in 2022, last year NCL Dates helped more than 2,000 geordies in their search for love and were finalists in two categories at the North East, Yorkshire and the Humber StartUp Awards!
With lots of events planned in the lead up to Valentine’s Day, we sat down with Ben to find out more about NCL Dates and how the events were inspired by his time at Newcastle University.
Hi Ben! Could you introduce yourself to your fellow Newcastle graduates first of all and tell us about your time at university?
Hi, my name is Ben and I grew up in Scarborough but now call Gateshead home!
I first came to Newcastle in 2016 to study Psychology – and my choice to study here was on a bit of a whim if I’m honest. At 18, I went to America to study but found that it just wasn’t for me, so returned to the UK and managed to get a space on the course and in accommodation sorted within a month! I felt like I’d failed when I left America but quickly found my feet in Newcastle – I’ve never settled in and loved somewhere so quickly, and that’s why it’s now my home.
In first year, I lived at The View near St. James’ Park. I was so lucky that friends I met on day one are still close friends now. We went into town every day just to have a wander, pick up some bits from the shop or study in a café, and our evenings were spent in Trent House!
As well as being so close to town, it was great that we had the Metro on our doorstep at The View. Weekend trips to Tynemouth are some of my favourite memories, and always made me feel more connected to home in Scarborough, knowing I was just a few miles up the coast.
That’s lovely to hear. I’m sure a lot of our alumni reading will have similarly fond memories of Tynemouth and Trent House! And what made you want to study Psychology here?
It may sound cliché, but I was really passionate about psychology from being a teenager. This was sparked by family experiences of mental health issues, and after studying it at A Level it was the obvious choice for me.
In my undergraduate, my dissertation was focused on researching compatibility in romantic relationships between heterosexual and homosexual couples. And then my Master’s dissertation again looked at relationships, but through a lens of neurodiversity. I guess you could say this laid the foundations for NCL Dates!
Alongside my studies, I managed the @memecastleuni social media channels and this provided me with a great platform to initially test my interest in matchmaking. We held our first event two years ago, on Valentine’s Day 2022, with 120 students ready for a blind date – and we’ve not looked back!
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Wow! What made you want to provide an alternative to dating apps?
I guess it originally arose from the dissatisfaction I, and my friends, felt as single students with the abundance of apps out there. You have to summarise yourself in just one paragraph and be constantly entertaining and ‘on’ in messages, otherwise you get left behind. Not everyone finds it easy to make connections virtually, and some people are busy with work or studying and would rather just chat face-to-face on a Friday night over a drink.
I also found that all the filters on dating apps make people really focus on a ‘type’ they think they have and restrict themselves so much that they miss out on lots of really great potential partners. At our events, we’ve seen people form strong connections where they would never have come across each other online.
You run your events with your boyfriend, James. Can you tell us about how you two met?
Ironically enough, we met on an app! This was before the days of NCL dates though, so there weren’t really any alternatives. We chatted for one day online and then met up in person for a date, which started on the top floor of The Mile Castle and ended at Prohibition on Pink Lane.
We’ve been inseparable ever since, and now run NCL dates together. James is a Media and Journalism graduate from Northumbria University so he helps implement and sell all the ideas I have!
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It’s only been 18 months, so there haven’t been any NCL Dates weddings yet, but we have had some couples get together from our events!
How has NCL Dates grown since the Memecastle Blind Date days?
We’ve been holding regular events in Newcastle’s best independent venues for the past 18 months, including Mother Mercy, Market Shaker and The Grove in Ouseburn.
In the past year, we have welcomed over 2,000 people to our events. We do our best to cater for everybody no matter what their age or sexuality – so we have special nights for people aged 40+, the LGBTQ+ community and young professionals too.
When people come to our events, they get around 7 minutes to speak to each other before moving on to the next date and then at the end of the night we share the contact details of those they’ve matched with so they can continue getting to know each other!
It’s only been 18 months, so there haven’t been any NCL Dates weddings yet, but we have had some couples get together from our events! It’s always a nice feeling when we get a message to be asked to be taken off the mailing list because they’ve found what they were looking for.
Recently, we’ve also trialled some events outside of Newcastle and are looking to expand our regular programme in other cities in the North East this year, and we’re also scoping out potential activity-based dates for the summer – so watch this space!
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Amazing! With Valentine’s Day fast approaching, can you tell us more about what NCL Dates has organised for those looking for love across Tyneside?
Sure. We have a series of 'Valentine Special' events will be held between 25 January and the end of February, including a young professionals event for those aged 20-27 and 23-30, double dates for those aged 18 to 25, and speed dates for those aged 40 to 59.
All the information and booking details can be found on our Instagram channel @ncldates and Linktree.
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